MY01cm | 두뇌훈련 워크북

“Love the living disorder more than the dead order.”

1. Losing One’s Way in Fluctuating Temperatures

Every day, I laughed and talked among countless people, yet I failed to share a single word with my true self. It was a repetitive cycle: heating my heart to match the moods of others, only to return home feeling a nameless void as my body turned cold.

In my obsession to be a “kind person,” I overexerted my inner heat until I was burnt black inside. I spent countless hours blaming myself, asking, “Why do I tire so easily?” or “Why do these relationships become so lukewarm?” But these were not flaws in my personality; they were signals that my internal “temperature regulator” was broken.

2. What We Needed Was ‘Solitude,’ Not Kindness

The more I looked outward for someone to warm my frozen soul, the colder my heart became. The power to maintain a proper internal temperature does not come from the outside; it emerges only in the hours spent sitting face-to-face with oneself.

Solitude is the coolest breeze to soothe a feverish heart and the gentlest sunlight to melt a frozen spirit. When I am too hot and risk burning those around me, solitude calms me in the name of “silence.” When I am too cold and wish to hide from the world, solitude approaches me in the name of “leisure” and takes my hand. Only those who can regulate their own temperature can offer others the “most comfortable warmth”—one that neither burns nor freezes.

3. Dead Order vs. Living Disorder

We often call “stability” a blessing, but in physics, perfect order signifies “thermal death.” It is the realm of machines where no energy moves and no friction exists.

AI stands at the pinnacle of order, striving to allow not even 0.0001% of error. However, humans are beings who constantly generate internal disorder—entropy—from birth until death.

The way a morning resolution crumbles under afternoon emotions, or the way we stay awake at night gripped by inexplicable anxiety despite rational choices—this “inefficient fluctuation” is the most noble evidence that we are living organisms. A dead stone feels no anxiety. Only living things feel the pain of their existence being carved away and tremble in unrest.

4. The Philosophy of Water: An Unstable Force Flowing at the Lowest Point

The ancient sages’ advice to “live like water” is not a call for submissiveness but a survival strategy. Water never stays in a fixed shape for a single moment. It becomes sharp ice when the temperature drops and rises to the sky as steam when it heats up.

Crucially, water never stops its flow. When encountering an obstacle, water chooses the “inefficient” detour rather than breaking itself. Flowing through rock crevices and mixing with muddy currents, water never loses its essence. By allowing our internal anxieties and emotions to flow freely like water, the stagnant residues of our feelings are finally washed away.

5. Solitude: An Honest Raft to Protect Yourself

Solitude is the only raft you can lean on upon that river. The temperature you encounter atop that raft is the sole evidence of your existence in this world.

Now, embrace your anxiety.
Love the inefficient idling of your emotions.

Anxiety is merely an affirmation of being alive.
If you are suffering and shaking right now, you are living in the most human way possible.

Instead of the graveyard-like comfort of orderly perfection, leap into the messy, surging river of life. Solitude is the raft you lean on in that river, and the temperature you feel there is the one true proof that you exist.

“Experience the Living Disorder in Sound”
“Now that you’ve read about the blessing of entropy, let it resonate within you. I’ve captured 2 hours of nature’s raw, unscripted symphony—a perfect manifestation of living disorder. Close your eyes, let go of the need for control, and drift along this stream of natural tranquility.”

🌲 [2 Hours] The Sound of Living Disorder: A Forest Sanctuary